understanding

[puppygirlcity]

i am feeling like sometimes my friends doesn't rly understand the like like level of devotion i feel towards them and how it sort of causes a power imbalance

its because im bpd and its not something i can really stop

favorite person type behavior is like something i just have to learn how to navigate and it intersects with everything else going on with me where it just makes me fawn more and more and it makes it really hard to talk about my needs or boundaries

especially if they keep getting not listened to when i try to express them or i keep getting upset idk

i just wish people were more sensitive to it

i fawn extremely badly and its a lot its hard i dont know how to do anything but be conciliatory and people please and i feel like a monster for feeling so strongly about people and acting like this

also like i dont know i mean like i think its very difficult to i mean its scary i have trouble even trying to communicate to people that im doing this because who wants all of that pushed onto them : ( its not like i can stop doing it